My Poor Car

While I was in Argentina my house was burglarized and my car stolen from the garage. About a week later I got a call around 2am saying that my car had been in a high speed chase in West Valley and it was now in a tree and I could come claim it. I drove down there and saw this. It was being driven by 3 crack heads. One had just been released from prison for car theft, one was a platinum blond girl with track marks up both arms, and there was some other Mexican guy. It had gone over a snow bank, over a cement piling, and into a tree. A month later when it was lifted up at the mechanics we found a rather large branch about 4 inches in diameter and 6 feet long still wedged underneath. The car reeked of cigarettes and both bumpers were dangling off the ends. You can see in the photo the patch of ground without snow...that's where the car drug the cement piling underneath is across the dirt. Bryan came by and yelled some obscenities at the people in the cop cars and totally embarrassed me in front of all the cops. Then the tow truck came, a big burly woman who reminded me of Large Marge and took the car away. I went through the stuff found inside and even read a couple of the letters in one of their overnight bags. They were addressed to and from a prison address and gave me a good laugh and made me appreciate the life I have. One guy is getting charged with possession of a stolen vehicle. His name is Cleat. I repeat his name is CLEAT! All I can think of is Cleatus the Slack Jawed Yokel from The Simpsons. My car is getting fixed. About $8000 worth of work, almost all cosmetic and I'll have it in a week from now. I love insurance. I can't wait to get my car back and drive safely around in the snow again. I've really missed it with all these snow storms. While looking at the car with the mechanic and the claims adjuster I think they caught me actually petting the car...kind of embarrassing. Till then thanks to Nate and Carrie...and her late grandmother I'm driving a sweet Sundance. Yeah, it's awesome. It's beige with Oregon plates and a baby seat. You really can't get any cooler than that to be honest. Now if only I could find some of the other stuff they stole from the house... (Which reminds me, don't bother asking me questions like "are they the ones who robbed your house? Did they compare fingerprints? What did the police say?" The answer to all of that is- I don't know. )