Monday, August 3, 2009


Well I'm single again. Boo Hoo. Every time this happens I find myself reminiscing on not just the latest boyfriend to fall by the wayside but all the ones before, as well as other guys who've played (or wish they'd played) significantly romantic roles in my life. I wonder what they're doing now. I wonder if they even remember me. I wonder what I would say to them if I had the chance. I decided to write some of them a little letter just for fun. Just a little one. They made me laugh so I thought I'd post them. I'll put the names alphabetically and Jane Austin style where you only get one letter. (I never really got why she did that sometimes.) It may be obvious to some of you who many of them are but you'll have to guess on the rest and I'm not telling who they really are.

Dear A_, You are really nice. If only you were taller…and not the shape of a beachball…

Dear A_, Bad timing bad timing bad timing. Too bad since we got along so well. You always liked the weirdest girls. I think I was the most normal girlfriend you ever had.

Dear B_, I wish we'd gone out more. I had the craziest crush on you for years after I saw you last.

Dear B_, We had some good times. Sadly, I have given up all hope for you. I'm happier without you. I think you're crazy. P.S. You owe me money.

Dear C_, Going out with you made me feel like I was in high school but in a lame way, not a fun way. The beater car, the concert, you being shorter than me…I'm glad you lost my number. Please stop emailing me asking for it again.

Dear C_, You were great, but I'm glad we don't talk anymore. I think you're shady.

Dear D_, You need to shower more often. You always smell bad and my mom says you're too chatty. I agree. Plus you're a hypocrite. Get over yourself, you're not that cool. Not even close.

Dear D_, It would have never worked out if we dated for obvious reasons, but wouldn't it have been fun if it had!? You were so good looking. I loved your hair.

Dear E_, I'd like to pretend I never knew you. Can you not ever tell anyone we ever went out? I find it embarrassing. No one liked you, not even me. I don't know what I was thinking.

Dear J_, You made me happy. I still miss you.

Dear L_, You had a really nice car, a fancy house and you were really good looking, but lacked personality. I'm not sure why I felt dumb when I ran into you recently but I'm glad you said hello.

Dear M_, You are special. I still have that poem you wrote me.

Dear S_, I'm sorry for how I treated you. I think of you often. I'm glad you are happy and successful now. I still sing that song you wrote me when I'm driving in my car alone.

Dear T_, When we went on that first double date I thought I was going out with your friend not you. I never told you that. It was a pleasant surprise.

Dear Fish Tacos, I will love you forever. Are you busy tonight? Let's get together at Lone Star Taqueria.

Love, K_

1 comment:

Kearl said...

I love the "Dear E", I was waiting for it after the stories you told me today. Chuckle, chuckle.